the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
