Why are handjobs necessary in class?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
