pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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