I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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