there's paper in my vomit.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
