SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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