oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
