I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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