Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
