marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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