she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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