You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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