wat bout pragnant strippers??
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
