i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
