ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
