Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
