question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
