smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
