I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Also, beer. Big fan.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
