the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
