I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
