we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
