I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
