i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
