I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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