Me. At least after what I've been through.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
