We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
