I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
