dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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