I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
