She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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