I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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