Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
