we made out on top of his cat.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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