I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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