Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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