he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize