this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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