TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize