Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Every concussion has its silver lining
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
