i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you traded sex for a burrito?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize