Pappa wants mamma naked
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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