if you like me you must not know who I am
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
