god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
