operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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