i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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