Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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