Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
