I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
