i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize