Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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