It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Can you bring me the toilet please
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
