I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
