so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish life had little blips of pornography
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
