My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
