Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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