Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wish you could order shots online.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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