omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
