ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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