Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
