Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
