Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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