While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
