after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
